I decided to write about this topic a long time ago.
If I’m being honest here, the only reason it took me so long to post it was because it was difficult to put everything into words.
The main problem was, when i tried to do some research, i noticed somethin
g shocking. There wasn’t much content online (as compared to women’s or let’s say general mental health issues.)
I also realised, that it is really easy for women to speak about their problems, and is acceptable for us to do so.
Every time I decide to write about something, I do talk to some of my girlfriends.
But it was difficult to talk to the guys. Because :
1) It was awkward asking these questions.
2) I knew no one would open up.
3) The ones I turned to, avoided talking about it. (Mostly what they told me was, how men are generalised).
Anyway. Let’s start from the start.
IDEAS OF MASCULINITY :
The society has certain expectations from men.
Since a very young age, (let’s say 2/3 ) whenever a boy cries, he is aksed not to, because he’s a boy, and boy’s don’t cry.
As they grow older, these expectations turn unrealistically high. Crying becomes a taboo.
A man should be able to control his feelings. It’s simply not acceptable for a man to have too many feelings.
Career achievements, how much money they make and things that they provide for their family become the criteria for success.
SUBSTANCE ABUSE :
Use of drugs to cope with fears and failures such as – unemployment, divorce, separation from their children (in case the custody goes to the mother), minimal visitation rights is found more in men as compared to women.
DEPRESSION :
It is expressed differently by men.
In the early stages of depression, they may show irritability, anger, hostility, aggressiveness, risk taking and escaping behaviour.
Masking more typical symptoms like sadness, crying, feelings of guilt and changes in appetite.
These signs are early indicators of depression.
It is suggested to seek help in such cases.
But, men do not usually seek help for mental illnesses, which leads to severe aftereffects.
WHY MEN DO NOT SEEK HELP :
1) Afraid of looking weak or stupid.
2) Real men don’t ask for help.
3) Being vulnerable means you are not tough.
4) Depression will make you a burden to others.
Men are told all their lives to “man up” and “be strong”. Accessing mental health resources can seem against cultural expectations and can hurt their pride.
When it comes to men, fighting depression is totally different.
Not only you have to fight the illness, but you also have to fight the stigma attached to it.
For men, the fear of looking weak or unmanly adds to the strain.
Anger, shame and other defenses can kick in as self protection but ultimately prevent from seeking help.
SUICIDE :
Suicide is an impulsive act, which is a result of a range of factors, difficulties and distress.
– Feeling depressed, withdrawn and anxious
– Loss of interest in work, socialising or even in their appearance.
– Drug and Alcohol misuse
– History of trauma or abuse
– Unemployment
– Poverty
– Imprisonment
– Violence
– Family breakdown
– Sense of pride
– Older people suffer from the loss of loved one’s and friends and can feel, isolated, ignored, worthless or dependant on others.
Talking about suicide is still highly stigmatized which is the main reason why so many people attempt or commit suicide and all we’ve got to say is, “Had we known what was going on in his head, we would’ve stopped him from doing this. ”
Unsuccessful first attempts are often followed by successful second attempts.
Men are supposed to come home from work.
Not talk about his day.
Eat his dinner.
Have a cigarette and some whiskey and he is perfectly content and happy.
As long as he has sex as well.
Right. Forgot about this.
Though men are seen as perverts. Not every man is a SEX ADDICT.
There’s so much for men to worry about other than sex.
Strength, courage, independence, violence and assertiveness. The problem is, men are supposed to be all of the above, and that’s not practical.
Men can get scared, they can be emotional, they can get vulnerable, they can feel the need to rely on someone too, just like women do.
They were born with it. So why does the society feel the need to push men away from all these emotions.
The world wrongly taught our men to mask their emotions and that Being Strong Means Being Silent.
SHOUTOUT TO ALL THE MEN GOING THROUGH A LOT, WITH NO ONE TO TURN TO.
TheNextChaos 