The literal definition of tomboy that I found on the internet is :
A tomboy is a girl who exhibits characteristics or behaviors considered typical of a boy, including wearing masculine clothing and engaging in games and activities that are physical in nature and are considered in many cultures to be unfeminine or the domain of boys.
So here is something to clear up all the people’s head who think like Wikipedia.
Misconceptions people have about Tomboys:
A Tomboy is a Boy in a Girl’s body – What does that even mean?
I love my body. And I wouldn’t swap it for a guy’s body in any given situation.
Are unaware of the typical girl problems – Pfft. Please. Don’t forget we were brought up by women and not aliens.
I won’t discuss my broken nail or unmatched clothes with a guy. But, I do that with my girlfriends who actually know what that really means.
Also you won’t see me obsessing over these things as much as I obsess over other *ahem* important things.
Loves to dress up like boys – Every girl, tomboy or not loves to dress up. Period. Who wouldn’t want to slay everything. Dude, I’d love to wear a dress and slay it but, can you guarantee me that if I have to run away from somewhere I’ll be able to do that in a dress?
Do you get that? It is just easier to run away or jump over fences in jeans and t shirt than in a (this isn’t the exact word I would use to describe them) girly outfit.
Hates other girls – Absolutely not. I have grown up to see women around me go through fire and water to get where they are today. And I guess. Anyone would love and respect such women. That’s the kind of women I’d prefer to hang out with. Instead of those who sit in a Cafe sipping coffee, gossiping until their jaws fall out, but when it comes to getting shit done, they’ll either push their jobs on someone else or avoid getting the job done.
Are either lesbians or bisexuals- I have been asked this one question so many times. Half of the people still think that I am lesbian. Nope. Not at all. Stop categorizing guys.
They are emotionless and don’t respect others-
This is the worst part, because tomboys come off to be cool and stuff. It absolutely does not mean that we don’t feel anything. Tomboys are just better at handling emotions and no matter what a girl looks like from outside, one little word of rudeness could shatter her down to pieces.
And they do respect people. It’s just that we have a lower affinity towards bullshit.
We are lazy af – When it comes to waking up early to take a bath and put on tons of makeup. Yes. We are lazy.
But when it comes to getting a job done. We are as good at as other normal people are.
FACT : WE CAN’T PLAY THE GIRL CHARM TO GET A GUY, TO DO SOMETHING FOR US. OR MAYBE USE IT TO WOO BOYS. WE DON’T KNOW HOW TO. WE PREFER TO DO THINGS OURSELVES.
Now I’m gonna share my own personal experience.
I have always been the most hyperactive kid. Yeah. Not girl. Kid (i.e gender neutral).
Maybe I am this way cause I was brought up among boys. Maybe because no one actually sat me down and told me “Oh no. You’re a girl. Act nice and sweet.” Or whatever.
But I was happy being me. Running around everywhere. Jumping over the fence. (Yes. We’d actually ask our van guy to drop us a little away from home so we could jump across the walls of buildings). Playing sports. Playing pranks etc.
Oh. Also. I have a short temper. So no one had any idea when I would burst in anger.
As I grew up. I started sitting as I pleased. I realized boys walk in a much cooler way than girls. So I started walking like guys. Slowly I started incorporating abusive words in my regular language. (much earlier than other girls did.) My language was also little bit intense. I had the guts to tell the teachers that they acted like the principal’s pets. I had the guts to hit people if they annoyed me enough. I would easily pick fights with them.
I was pretty confident and strong willed about myself back then.
All this gained me the title of tomboy. Now. Let me tell you, I wasn’t aware of this term at all. Our English teacher came up to me when I abused a guy verbally and said. “Bhagyashri, don’t be a tomboy.” That was when I came to know about this term. And that’s when I realized that tomboys aren’t considered good.
Then I left school. Started college. Suddenly there were so many girls around me. Everyone started telling me that I need to act like a girl. I need to calm down a little bit.
Not that I was hearing all this for the first time. But so many people, saying the same things started to make me feel uncomfortable about who I was. Guys would actually text me to let me know that someone told them the story of how I almost slapped a teacher, or how I banged my head against the bench when I couldn’t contain my anger. Of how I was a Gunda of the school and all. And now they feel they need to be scared of me and stuff.
On my 18th birthday I decided that I’ll start acting like a girl from now on.
Which I pretty much accomplished. Except for the fact that I can be straightforward af. Which is considered rude and ungirly. I started to walk like girls (well, almost.) I can almost control my anger now. And be nice to people. (For which I had to take therapy by the way.)
But all of this was way out of my comfort zone.
So I started being unhappy. I used to be the most talkative (never making sense though) in the bunch and I bearly speak a word now.
I used to be pretty confident about myself. But now have to check a thousand times before I step out of the house.
I never had stage fear or that sort of thing. Now I can’t even say hi to one person.
In the process of trying to change myself from a tomboy to a girl. I gave up so much. But the only thing people take notice of is the outer appearance. So I’ve changed for good according to some people now.
But if you ask me. I’m stuck. Stuck between being a good girl, who’ll be nice to people on their faces, will have a fake smile so that they don’t feel offended. Have a low tone.
And between being a tomboy. Who’d dress as she wanted. Walk as she pleased. Had the guts to put forward her opinion. Wouldn’t sweat like hell when meeting someone new. Who could speak her mind and not worry about what people thought of her.
So stuck. That I can’t seem to get out of this zone, and will probably stay here for a while now.
Anyway. So the point is.
These girl – coded cultural stereotypes are a way of telling girls that if they don’t follow them. They are not only not really girls, but more of boys.
That there is a right way of being a girl and wrong way.. Well, a right way of being a boy.
Messed up. I know.
TheNextChaos 